Small talk is the “chit chat” about safe topics that we all have to go through every day of our lives. At work, we talk about the weather, our families or what we did on the weekend, for example. At parties, we talk about similar topics and might even talk about relevant news, vacations, or whatever comes to mind that we know won’t offend anyone. Usually, the conversations are short because we don’t go into topics very deeply. We make comments, such as “oh really?” and “that’s great.” It’s just a snapshot into someone’s life.
So, how do we turn our small talk into a real conversation? That is the most difficult task that most of us face. Here are a few guidelines to help you get past the mundane, but oh so very necessary, chit chat and onto a conversation that has some meaning for both you and the person you are speaking with.
First, you have to find something in one of the topics you are discussing that you and the other person have in common; something that can connect you. This is what makes the conversation magically go from just small talk to getting to know someone. Sometimes this isn’t so easy to do, though. You might have to touch on several topics before you find one that stands out for the other person and you that makes you want to share your experiences. For example, let’s say you love to travel and you just returned from a cruise to Bermuda. You find out that the other person enjoys traveling and enjoys going on cruises, as well. Not only that, but they just went to Bermuda! Okay, now we’re talking! We’ve now got something to hold onto that can deepen the conversation and create a connection. This is what getting to know someone is all about!
Once you make a connection with someone who has the same interest as you do, you begin your communication exchange by asking questions, making comments and telling the person about yourself. They will do the same. Sharing information is what lets us into someone else’s life and can become the beginning of a friendship. We can all use more friends, right?
The next time you go to a party, find someone that you think you might feel comfortable speaking with and begin a conversation. Try to find a topic that you both have an interest in, and use it to get past small talk and delve deeper into a real conversation. You just might find that you have a new friend!
So, how do we turn our small talk into a real conversation? That is the most difficult task that most of us face. Here are a few guidelines to help you get past the mundane, but oh so very necessary, chit chat and onto a conversation that has some meaning for both you and the person you are speaking with.
First, you have to find something in one of the topics you are discussing that you and the other person have in common; something that can connect you. This is what makes the conversation magically go from just small talk to getting to know someone. Sometimes this isn’t so easy to do, though. You might have to touch on several topics before you find one that stands out for the other person and you that makes you want to share your experiences. For example, let’s say you love to travel and you just returned from a cruise to Bermuda. You find out that the other person enjoys traveling and enjoys going on cruises, as well. Not only that, but they just went to Bermuda! Okay, now we’re talking! We’ve now got something to hold onto that can deepen the conversation and create a connection. This is what getting to know someone is all about!
Once you make a connection with someone who has the same interest as you do, you begin your communication exchange by asking questions, making comments and telling the person about yourself. They will do the same. Sharing information is what lets us into someone else’s life and can become the beginning of a friendship. We can all use more friends, right?
The next time you go to a party, find someone that you think you might feel comfortable speaking with and begin a conversation. Try to find a topic that you both have an interest in, and use it to get past small talk and delve deeper into a real conversation. You just might find that you have a new friend!
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